Mel Gibson’s Judah Macabee Project
It’s official. Pre-production is full swing ahead for Mel Gibson’s film on Judah Macabee, the Hebrew warrior who fought off the Roman’s in the 2nd Jewish revolt that the story of Hannukah is based on. Mel doesn’t seem to care about the fact that there’s already a Macabee project that’s been in the works for years, or that no one on the planet wants him to make this movie, especially the Jews.
I’ve got a beef with Mel, because I keep up with his crazy antics and get a kick out of the fact that he’s balls to the wall insane, but that’s also ruined his own movies for me and they used to be some of my favorites. Now whenever I see Braveheart there may as well be a little news scroll at the bottom that just says things like: Sugartits. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. You should shut up and BLLOOOOWW MEEE!!! Because I deserve it!!.
That last one really gets me. Nobody “deserves” a blow job. They’re just wonderful little miracles when they happen, but the fact that Mel thought the world owed him a blow job shows his psychology. And in the scene where he’s getting his guts torn out of him and screams “Freedom!!” in Braveheart has now become dubbed with “Sugartits!!!” in my fragile mind.
I think a Mel Gibson directed Judah Macabee could be cool though. He’s going to turn the story of Hanukkah into a super violent story, no doubt, with big epic fight scenes and Judah will probably fall for some exotic looking beautiful Shiksa that will give Judah the support he needs to see this miracle through. It would be pretty funny to see Judah Macabee chop off the heads of like 10 Romans and go home to his lady and be super nervous about not having enough oil for the Menorah and then have his mother ask him why he doesn’t want to marry a Jewish girl or something and remind our hero that Christ died maliciously at the hands of the Jews to absolve us of our sins.
Either way, Hanukkah will never be the same again and maybe this is Mel’s way of getting back at the Jews. Anyone pretending this story has any particular deep spiritual resonance is B.S’ing you though. Hanukkah is the Jews’ way of flipping off Santa Claus and telling all them lil Jews that we got presents on our side too when its snowy and shitty out and everyone’s filled with Christmas (sorry, “Holiday”) cheer. Full swing ahead, I say and maybe in due time we can get Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner to do a movie about the Pope.
